#sergeant ming ming
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This is lowkey Detective Conan
#Got off from my midterms exam and found this#im drawing parallels already#Ming Ming is so Shinichi#kudo shinichi#shinichi kudo#detective conan#dcmk#edogawa conan#conan edogawa#case closed#oh my goodness#i just cant#i cantttt#this is so cuteeeeeee#this just made my day#sergeant ming ming#trainee conan#this could be an au#do you see my vision?
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Hunter being Omega’s Dad -> Cornered
#hunter is omega’s dad#Star wars#bad batch#the bad batch#tbb#tbb gif#bad batch gif#hunter#sergeant hunter#omega#tbb omega#tbb hunter#my gifs#gifset#cornered#Michelle ang#fennec Shand#bounty hunter#Ming na wen#dee bradley baker#bad batch season 1#season 1#1x4#s1e4#clones#clone force 99
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he’s far too handsome to be real 😩🔥
#the bad batch#star wars the bad batch#tbb season 2#sergeant hunter#hunter tbb#tbb hunter#world would implode if he existed irl#humanity couldn't handle him#to quote miss Ming-Na Wen: an absolute STUD™#I am smooching my screen#U N F#my dark and broody bandana man#star warz#tbb spoilers
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Hello. I would like to introduce my ocs to the fandom.
This is Zhen Leng. He is the captain of the Chinese special forces. And he doesn't get paid enough for worrying over his three stray hounds.
This is Ming Yunqi. He is the colonel. He is also stray hound number one.
And then there comes the sergeants.
Firstly, Guan ( Stray hound number two) ;
And then Baozhai (Stray hound number three);
If I were to sit here and tell you all about the lore it would probably be boring. So instead, let me show you some drawings I made of them till now.
#call of duty#artists on tumblr#cod#cod modern warfare#cod oc#cod ocs#call of duty ocs#masked men#soldier oc
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I'm mostly just gonna copy paste my real time conversation with @hotasfahrenheit here, with a free added bits of thoughts:
My Stand In episode 2 thoughts
I wish they translated the title song, because it's tonally confusing
I love when the makeup team adds hickeys
I definitely watched some of this second episode, but I do but remember how far I got, so I'm just rewatching all the crazy
I really need this orgasm-sneeze to be the thing that tips Ming off
I need it
Joe, baby, you've known this man for five seconds, please do not tell him where your spare key is
Ming stop being so fucking awkward challenge
Ugh, Tong is such a dick
Why does anyone hire him? He's always late, he complains about having to do his job and threatens to need weeks off if he has to do one (1) thing....
Ming: "I'm feeling jealous, so I'm gonna be petty about it and hurt Joe's feelings"
Joe: "yeah, I should've expected this"
Ming: are you bisexual (accusatory) or banging the makeup guy?
Joe: I have friends???
(Mia: Listen Ming doesn't have friends so he doesn't understand what those are
Me: oh, that's very clear. Gee, I wonder why that is 🤣)
I love that Ming dresses exclusively in $500 shirts 🤣
Wait, is this girl supposed to be set up with Ming 🤣 He's such a bitch 😆 I love him (forgot to tell with Mia about his slutty little rich asshole silk robe, but bless him and the slutty little rich asshole robe)
(Mia: Ming doesn't know how to function as a person but he does know how to look like a rich bitch)
Joe translating his anger at Ming by being hard on his trainees... Oh baby, no
He's really just "I'm asking for a friend"ed 🤣🤣🤣
Oh, I love this girl actually
Joe with the sex puns, lmao
Ming smiling and then immediately suppressing it is so sad actually
Get therapy, my dude
THE SHEETS ARE WET I AM SCREAMING
THE SNEEZES OH MY GODDD
Also, the work bathroom hook up cut with the training session was *chefs kiss* (the way this built tension and also narrative, and like, showed Joe's inner thoughts? Incredible.)
(Mia: Pepzi, our queen) FOR REALZ
He knows Joe's coffee prep
This is so domestic? (This makes me feel crazy, actually. And Joe's genuine awe at being seen in this small way breaks my fucking hearrrt)
Joe. Baby. Again, it has been five minutes and three orgasms, you cannot invite him to move in
He's being so nice to the stunt men today 😂
Ming:
The way he said Joe's name while staring at Sol like "okay bitch, watch this" killed me
He knew Joe would go to him and he wanted Sol to know real bad
Sol is ready to Fite
Listen, I knew he made him sleep on the floor OF HIS OWN HOUSE, bit it's still deeply funny to me
And then, he's just staring at him while he sleeps waiting for him to wake up so he can give him the bitchiest look known to man
Ming: *is jealous AF*
Joe: you jealous bro?
Ming: No, who would even like you?
Joe: *is the world's saddest puppy*
"sit ups break my back, live breaks my heart". Baby, no.
Lovesick Joe= drill Sergeant
Post orgasm Joe = kindergarten teacher
Sad Joe = bad poet who can't do a sit up
(Mia and I had a conversation about how sometimes, very drunk people want to be on the floor in a blanket, and she is very correct)
Wait.
...
Did Ming go home and make himself the same ramen Joe made for him? (Because he was jealous and bitchy and ran away after making the boy he likes Dad on purpose)
THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE, ACTUALLY?!
Okay, considering Ming is in love with his sister's boyfriend, they actually have a really sweet sibling dynamic, and she is actually The Best.
Why can't we go to a movie and eat fondue? Why did Thailand get movies so much better than we do? Let me watch a movie in a bed or eat fondue while I watch my favorite blorbos.
But also, he clearly just needs like, so much therapy
Like, his thought process is "I love him, no one else can have him, I'm gonna kidnap him". Which is .. Not Normal People Thoughts
"even if I could be happy, I shouldn't be"
THERAPY. THERAPY FOR A THOUSAND YEARS
Sol: " I will flirt by kicking his ass and hoping he kicks mine back"
Oh shit, Joe really just fucking knocked him out 🤣
Ming having a crisis hearing Joe talk about what love is, and then that little smile when Joe said he wanted then to be a couple... (Joe's like, pathological inability to let himself experience emotions is... Several Problems)
This man is insane
Listen, if I'm supposed to hate Ming, they shouldn't have had Up play him
NOW HE'S AT JOE'S HOUSE PLAYING HOUSE HUSBAND. (WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?)
Rip curry
It's the ramen of suppressed feelings again
JOE STOP MAKING ME CRY CHALLENGE
Look, is Ming:
LADY AND THE TRAMP AND THE GRIP YOU HAVE ON THE THAI BL INDUSTRY
They're so cute that it's actually a crime that I know Ming is a whole red flag parade
The way Joe did the cutest little "please, tell me, please please please, I wanna hear you say the things we both know (you jealous baby)" and Ming was like "yeah okay, I will hum a quiet affirmative and we will never speak of it again" was so fucking cute. I am prepared to cry and scream and have my feelings hurt, but gosh do they do this well.
Okay, I have like, real actual thoughts about this, but also I do not. I am obsessed and too deep in it right now to words, but AAAHHHHHHH
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Let’s talk about Uncle Jim and the preview of episode 7.
I think we need to look at Uncle Jim as a product of circumstances.
It’s easy to call him a hypocrite if you are only looking at the fact that he’s, essentially, pointing fingers at his nephew, Li Ming, for being gay while he’s out there having sex with Wen and whatever their ‘situationship’ is a the moment. Now, I’m not saying it’s was okay, or anything of the sort, on how he will be dealing with finding out about Li Ming and Heart, but I think we do need to go beyond the surface level, “He’s a homophobe!” virtue-signaling that has been going around and look at the complexity that lead to that moment.
I'm going to break this down into three parts: (1) Uncle Jim's financial struggles, (2) Uncle Jim's struggles with his sexual identity, and (3) how they play into the confrontation.
1. Uncle Jim and the effect of poverty on his worldview
First, we need to look at what Uncle Jim’s relationship with Li Ming. The first clue into the relationship between Uncle Jim and Li Ming is in Episode 1 while Saleng and Li Ming meet up. Saleng let’s Li Ming know that it would be best if he came back to the diner straight after school so Uncle Jim wouldn’t nag him again, and Li Ming being the teenager that he is, blew off the advice stating to just let Uncle Jim nag. Tensions between the two are already somewhat heightened, which tends to naturally occur as kids grow into their teens and don’t see eye-to-eye with their parental figures. Add in the fact that Li Ming is growing up and starting to make decisions for his own future, and Uncle Jim doesn't agree with a lot of them, their relationship is going to be rocky.
Second, Uncle Jim knows his place in a classist society and has conformed to it. Time and time again, in the conversations with Wen, Uncle Jim has diminished his work as a chicken vendor. It's a labor-intensive job. Even with a diner that's packed and being on television, the amount of money is not enough to pay the bills. Chicken prices have been going higher and higher, which the audience is informed through Gaipa's mother, and he's barely able to stretch the income that the chicken shop is bring to cover the bills. They are poor, living essentially paycheck-to-paycheck and just hoping to be able to get by. It's his every-day life and he's been burned out by it. It's no comfy desk job, local restaurants are looked down on. There's no honor or 'reward' for his work aside from seeing people enjoy the food that he makes with his own hands.
He 'knows' his place in society and behaves according to it. During the whole initial fiasco of meeting Heart's parents, Uncle Jim apologizes on behalf of Li Ming. Heart's father is an officer, a Senior Sergeant, and wealthy ones at that. Uncle Jim is more than aware of the status difference and what that signifies in the terms to the power that they hold. So Uncle Jim would rather Li Ming take the blame and smooth things over, instead of risking upsetting Heart's parents.
Meanwhile, Li Ming is aware of the classism and resents it. He's aware of their financial status and the power that others hold over them, as seen with his indignant response when Uncle Jim suggests just thinking of the situation with Heart's parents as 'bad luck'. Li Ming is young, that's the reality. He hasn't been worn down like Uncle Jim and as a result he still (correctly) pushes against the idea that just because Heart's parents hold a high status, he should plead guilty. He knows he's innocent because he is innocent, and he's hurt that Uncle Jim would tell him to just take the blame. But the thing is, I don't think it's that Uncle Jim doesn't believe or trust him, more than anything Uncle Jim is worried that defying would somehow get Li Ming in more trouble, potentially jeopardizing his future.
Which comes to the third point, Uncle Jim wants Li Ming to do better for himself and have a brighter future than he does. He doesn't want Li Ming to know the struggle of barely being able to pay for bills or the pain of such a laborious job. That's not to say that the way Uncle Jim goes about it is correct, especially when pushing Li Ming to study is just making him miserable and Uncle Jim fails or refuses to see that. But I think he truly believes that Li Ming would find a better life by getting a college degree. To Uncle Jim, it's Li Ming's ticket out of the misery that being poor brings; he pushes it onto him because he truly wants what's best for him.
Uncle Jim, like many parents or parental figures, wants Li Ming to do better in life than he has. Uncle Jim has been worn down by life, he's essentially just floating, trying not to drown. He doesn't want that for Li Ming. Yet, Uncle Jim is so consumed by the stress of running the diner and the lack of funds that it brings in, he doesn't really see that there are other ways besides getting a college degree to be successful. (I think many children of immigrant parents/third-world countries can relate to the pressure parents apply in succeeding in their education to pull themselves out of poverty.) Which results in Uncle Jim not listening to the wants and needs of Li Ming. Uncle Jim has been tired down by the reality of poverty and he doesn't want to Li Ming to experience it, especially when he can provide Li Ming the opportunity to go to college and get an education, even if it costs him more in the long run.
He wants Li Ming to have every opportunity and success out there that's available, ones that he didn't have. To Uncle Jim, that means getting a degree. A degree can open doors that are otherwise locked. It's a ticket out. Uncle Jim's main motivation is Li Ming to find success, to find financial stability. It's the idea that once you're financially stable and out of poverty, only then can you strive to find happiness. Poverty, to Uncle Jim, is a brick wall that is in Li Ming's way. Getting a degree is an opportunity that wasn't awarded to Uncle Jim and it's highly likely that Uncle Jim blames that for his present struggles.
From Uncle Jim's point of view, Li Ming is almost a mirror copy of him and going down a path that led to a lot of Uncle Jim's own pain and suffering. Uncle Jim is reactive, even when he is trying to be proactive, because that's all he knows how to do to survive. It's not that he intends to harm Li Ming, but rather it's the consequence of his good intentions that he ends up hurting him. A double-edged sword.
He doesn't want his nephew to follow in his foot steps, he wants him to be better than him.
2. Uncle Jim and his journey with his sexuality
I don't think we can just state that Uncle Jim is a hypocrite and homophobic. Does he probably struggle with internalized homophobia? Probably. But I think the reaction, stems from much more than just simple internalized homophobia. Rather I suspect his reaction has much more to do with his personal relationships, both familial and with Beam, and how they have shaped his life in relation to his sexuality.
Here we're going to start off with Uncle Jim's relationship with his sister, Li Ming's mother. His sister told him explicitly that she doesn't believe that gay relationships to work. She compared them to straight relationships and essentially, in lack of better terms, told Uncle Jim that they were inferior. Wen even states, "Love has no gender. everyday, heterosexual couples split up. No one bothers to find out why they break up. gender has nothing to do with successful or unsuccessful relationships." Even though logically, Uncle Jim understands that, the reality was that his sister's words rang in his mind after he found out that Beam was with a woman, while also being with him.
He was burned after taking a chance. When you get one too many burns, fear starts to become standard response.
Uncle Jim's relationship with Beam has a lot to do with how he NOW views love and the place it has in his life. Uncle Jim opened up the chicken dinner in hope to help provide for Beam. I mean they were wearing rings, it was a very serious and committed relationship. Uncle Jim, in his 20s, took the risk of losing his family for this man, to prove his sister wrong. Where did that lead him? To unknowingly being the sidepiece in a straight relationship. And then Beam goes and dies before Uncle Jim could get any answers.
For about a decade, Uncle Jim was left to wallow in his pain from the wound that Beam left him. He had no clue whether Beam actually loved him. Not to mention that he, a male, was the sidepiece. This isn't just simple cheating, instead it's rather significant that Beam was cheating on his long-time girlfriend/fiancée with him. While Uncle Jim and Beam may have had a ring on each other's finger, it says something that he was the hidden lover. How could Uncle Jim not wonder if Beam was using him/hiding him due to being ashamed of being gay? Or question if he was every truly loved?
Uncle Jim was left stagnant after Beam died, there was no way to come to terms with being the side-piece to a straight relationship. There was no clarity or closure that he could have gotten to move on, because the only person that could offer to him, died. It's obvious that his relationship with Beam shifted on how he felt about love, Uncle Jim states that several times to Wen. The relationship (being the hidden side piece) likely changed how he felt about being gay and gay relationships, potentially subconsciously. It wouldn't be shocking if he attributes some of his struggles to him being gay.
Uncle Jim risked his family, attempting to prove his sister wrong, and instead it backfired. A lot of pain and suffering that Uncle Jim has experienced in life has been due to his relationship, and it wouldn't be a giant leap to think that he attributes the pain specifically to having risked everything for a man. And he'd been stuck in that mindset for so many years, relationships meant potential pain. He'd gone against the status quo and that's why he got burned.
He's still barely learning to love again, learning to let go of the past.
3. How both factor in Uncle Jim confronting Li Ming about his relationship with Heart.
I think it has been established that Uncle Jim has just been in a land of pain, where he was left just a shadow of his bright 20-something-year-old self, after running the chicken diner and having a horrific ending to what seemed like a promising relationship.
Uncle Jim is only starting to reemerge and learn what it's like to live again after meeting Wen. Sure, he probably did have moments in his day-to-day life where he could laugh and smile with others, but those were fleeting moments. He was and has been struggling in every single aspect of his life, in his love-life, his financial status, his class status, he sexuality. Uncle Jim, by not being part of the status-quo, has lived a difficult life.
That's the exact opposite of what he wants for Li Ming. He wants him to be happy, to be stable, to not suffer like he is suffering for the decisions that he made as a young-adult. He's scared and afraid for the future of his nephew, because Li Ming is not willing to conform. Li Ming is resentful and indignant with society, like many young teens are, and isn't ready to bend to the rule of those with higher status. That almost guarantees that he's going to face hardships and that scares Uncle Jim.
If that wasn't bad enough, Uncle Jim finds out that he both doesn't want to get a higher education after graduation and he's gay. Two more attributes that almost guarantee a lot of pain in society, even if there has been large strides in LGBTQ+ relations since Uncle Jim came out.
When Uncle Jim sees Li Ming it's like staring at his own reflection and that scares him. He doesn't want Li Ming to end up like him, struggling for money and not fully accepted by society. It's a fear that only a guardian can truly understand.
Uncle Jim has only known pain since finding out about Papang cheated. Even though he now loves his diner, I'm sure it was painful before because it was a reminder, one that he has given his blood, sweat and tears for. He's only now coming out of the haze, from a zombie-like state, so the way he communicates isn't eloquent, it's forceful and harsh. He doesn't know how to effectively convey his worries to Li Ming and he doesn't know how to listen, to learn that maybe there is more than one way to achieve happiness and stability.
He's not mad at the fact that Li Ming is gay, but rather he's mad that after everything he has done to avoid Li Ming growing up to be like him (poor, struggling, tormented), Li Ming is still going to end up where he is. His mirror.
It's not okay that he reacts in the way that he does, I'm sure it'll hurt Li Ming more than anything, but it's also not shocking to see that Uncle Jim is angry. Angry at the situation... a repeat of his own in his eyes. And I think that it's more complicated than just a cry of "Uncle Jim is homophobic."
TLDR; Uncle Jim's outburst against Li Ming for being with Heart isn't solely rooted in homophobia, though there may be an aspect of internalized homophobia. Rather, Uncle Jim is a product of his situation and he doesn't know how to effectively communicate with his nephew. He's struggling and he doesn't want that for Li Ming. That's not to say that it's okay that Uncle Jim confronts Li Ming for being gay, especially in that manner, but it's not surprising when he reacts in that way.
#Moonlight Chicken#Uncle Jim#Wen#Midnight Series: Moonlight Chicken#Thai BL#Earth x Mix#mlc: Uncle Jim#Li Ming#li ming x heart#earth pirapat#mix sahaphap#fourth nattawatM#Moonlight Chicken ep 7#Wow this is much longer than I intended it to be#I'm sorry if you actually read through all that#I'm just tired of people thinking its solely homophobia without considering the lived experience that he has come through#It's not okay that it's reaction but i don't think you can chalk everything up to homophobia#not a defense just an explanation#this ended up with me rambling but dkdkdkd I got tired of he’s just homophobic#and then i saw people were attacking earth and it’s like guys#think a little please#Moonlight Chicken meta
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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Final Fantasy VHS
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[army sergeant voice] if you can't be cringe then you can't eat minge and brother, pork is ALWAYS on the menu
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On the extremely off-chance Timesplitters ever gets a live-action adaptation:
Vin Diesel as Sergeant Cortez
Elizabeth Olsen as Anya
Iain Glen as Captain Ash
Ming-Na Wen as Amy Chen
Maia Mitchell as Jo-Beth Casey
Matthew McConaughey as Harry Tipper
Bill Hader as the voice of R-110
#timesplitters#timesplitters future perfect#vin diesel#elizabeth olsen#bill hader#maia mitchell#ming na wen#matthew mcconaughey#iain glen#fancast#video games#future perfect#sergeant cortez#jo beth casey#amy chen#r110#harry tipper#captain ash#anya
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sivyera's masterlist
requests are open!
before you request, read the rules!
rules for request → here
Started: 08/06/22
Last Updated: 20/11/24
༺☆༻
my other masterlists - avatar masterlist httyd masterlist
Marvel ↴
Dating Bucky Barnes but being Sam Wilson's best friend
Dating Doctor Strange would include..
Dating Bucky Barnes would include..
Dating Sinister Strange would include..
Dating Defender Strange would include..
We weren't meant to be, so let me go. (Sinister Strange x reader)
Made for Kill. (Peter Parker x hydra!reader)
Vikings ↴
Ivar the Boneless│Fluff alphabet
Arcane ↴
The night we felt true love. (Cassandra Kiramman x fem!reader)
Arcane characters as love stereotypes.
Arcane characters as Disney couple.
Dating Ekko but Vi has a crush on you…
her secret lover headcanons (vi x reader)
Twilight ↴
10 things Edward Cullen loves about you
TWILIGHT characters as love tropes
Twilight characters dating islamic reader
hot chocolate (bella swan x fem!reader)
undying love (paul lahote x fem!vampire!reader)
dating headcanons (jacob black x imprint!human!reader)
Harry Potter↴
nsfw headcanons and kinks of harry potter characters
Raya and the Last Dragon ↴
Dating Namaari would include..
My hero academia ↴
I won't let anyone hurt you! (Bakugou x reader)
Onward ↴
Ian Lightfoot having a crush on you would include..
Gravity Falls ↴
Cuddling with Dipper Pines HC’s
Perfect. (Dipper Pines x shy!reader)
Love languages with Gravity Falls characters
Jealous HC's with Gravity Falls characters
Dipper Pines│Fluff Alphabet
The Basketball Diaries ↴
Dating Jim Carroll would include...
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes↴
Dating Blue eyes would include...
Blue eyes│Fluff Alphabet
dating caesar headcanons
Peter Pan 2003↴
Dating Peter Pan would include...
Peter pan being obsessed with you would include...
Vis a Vis (Locked Up)↴
Vis a Vis characters dating headcanons
Turning Red↴
Dating Ming Lee would include..
My Little Pony ↴
my MLP headcanons!
Lego Ninjago movie ↴
Dating Jay Walker would include...
Lego Ninjago characters as eye color wallpaper (tik tok trend)
Lego Friends (Friends: Girls on a Mission) ↴
Lego Friends characters and their sexuality HC's
Lego Friends dating HC's
8 mile ↴
Cuddling with Jimmy Smith Jr HCs
Dating Jimmy Smith Jr would include..
Don’t worry (Jimmy Smith Jr x reader)
Touchstarved B-rabbit x touchstarved reader hc’s
The Collector↴
Dating Arkin O’Brien would include...
Rise of the Guardians↴
Dating Jack Frost would include...
DATING HEADCANONS WITH BUNNYMUND FROM RISE OF THE GUARDIANS
Team Fortress 2 ↴
Dating Scout/Jeremy would include...
Inception ↴
Dating Robert Fischer would include..
Robert Fischer│Fluff alphabet
His guardian angel.
Chain the Night. (Robert Fischer x reader)
American Pie ↴
Dating American pie characters would include...
The Devil All the Time↴
Yandere TDATT characters being in love with you would include…
The Treasure Planet ↴
coming soon...
IT 2017↴
your lips, my lips. apocalypse. (henry bowers x reader)
Saltburn ↴
game 00.1 (felix catton x reader)
Rampage 2018 ↴
Dating Harvey Russell would include..
WRECK - IT RALPH ↴
Dating Sergeant Calhoun would include...
PEN15 ↴
Dating PEN15 characters would include...
SAW ↴
coming soon...
The Batman 2022↴
coming soon...
Fate: The Wings Saga↴
coming soon...
After↴
coming soon...
Actors/Celebrities ↴
Dating male celebrities would include...
dating Pedro Acosta would include.. - Pedro Acosta x reader
Fluff alphabet - Cillian Murphy x reader
‘Morning’ - Cillian Murphy x reader
Electric touch - Cillian Murphy x reader
Dating Cillian Murphy would include.. - Cillian Murphy x reader
Dating Elizabeth Olsen would include.. - Elizabeth Olsen x reader
Beautiful - Elizabeth Olsen x reader
Alex Høgh Andersen│Fluff alphabet - Alex Høgh Andersen x reader
Dating Eminem would include... Eminem x reader
star girl! - Hailey Bieber x reader
MOTOGP amd F1 DRIVERS ↴
F1 and MotoGP drivers as love types
DISNEY/PIXAR/DISNEY CHANNEL and OTHER CARTOONS ↴
Dating PJ Duncan would include..
Disney characters as boyfriends/girlfriends
Disney princesses and their sexualities, my headcanons
Disney/Pixar characters dating hc’s
love headcanons for the great prince | bambi
cinnamon girl (frozen 2 elsa x northuldra reader)
puck and pirouette (inside out 2 riley andersen x fem!reader)
puck and pirouette, pt. 2 (inside out 2 riley andersen x fem!reader)
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Every Baudelaire Guardian (So Far)
This list is a long overdue way for y’all to see past guardians before requesting and a way for me to keep track of who I’ve already made a guardian, so let’s get this train rollin’!
(All Guardians names from first to most recent under the cut, will be updated as more characters are requested)
Kirby
Frankie Stein
Phoenix Wright
Harry Greenwood
Hiccup and Astrid Haddock
Reginald Hargreeves
Toriel
The Sorting Hat
Jack Skellington
@/virtualfindingsdocumented
Noodle
BMO
Reigen Arataka
Taako Taaco
John Mulaney
Dr. Doofenshmirtz
Chidi Anagonye
The Kratt Brothers
Ronald McDonald
CoryXKenshin
Freddy Mercury
Darth Vader
Jefferson Davis
Marie Kondo
Jonathan Van Ness
Maes Hughes
Harold Hill
Dutch van der Linde
Isabelle
@/milesgonzalomorales
You
Carol Danvers
Molly Weasley
Grunkle Stan
Magnus Bane
Scott Howl
William Shakespeare
George Salazar
@/unfortunate-stranger-losers
Luke Skywalker
Belle
Yoshi
@/barb-baudelaire
Me
Luigi
Soldier 76
Emily the Corpse Bride
Neil Cicierega and Ming Doyle
Optimus Prime
Papyrus
Robert E.O. Speedwagon
Julian Devorak
Rex Dangervest
Meta Knight
Moominmamma and Moominpappa
Rapunzel and Eugene Fitzherbert
A knife
David
A bigger knife
Xemnas
Tony Stark
@/badasouefanficideas
MatPat, Safiya Nygaard and Rosanna Pansino
Lin-Manuel Miranda
Miss Honey
MatPat but with StephPat this time
Thomas Sanders
Magnus and Julia Burnsides
Ruff Ruffman
Willy Wonka
An even bigger knife
Amy Rose
Video Game Sonic the Hedgehog
Scott Lang
A Googly Eyed Slinky
@/snicketstrange
@/sqenthusiast , formerly @/larry-your-gayter
A Dog
@/teeny-beany, formerly @/afarmforthree
The Crystal Gems
@/arisabunni, formerly @/hongmoondescendant
The Biggest Knife Ever in Bowie, Texas
Malina Weissman, Louis Hynes and Presley Smith
Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Linda and Laurence Flynn-Fletcher
Alice Liddell
Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz
Lancer
Demi Lovato
Princess Peach
Marianne
Dad Egbert
Bayonetta
Phil Coulson
The Phantom of The Opera / Erik Destler
Original Design of Live Action Sonic
Thumb-thumbs
@/bi-baudelaires
Shrek
Greg Universe
@/cloverlady
Brian David Gilbert
Robert Manion
Yondu Udonta
Seven
Mary Poppins
Monika
Cherry
The VFDiscord
Ke$ha
Jay Gatsby
Kermit the Frog
Brandon Rogers
@/someones-mayhem
S. Theodora Markson
Chris McLean
Pepper Potts
James
Linebeck
Lucretia
@/olivia-caliban
@/oliviacalibans, formerly @/olivia-calibansnicket
Iris, Talia and Auriana
Final Pam
Miss Frizzle
Crowley and Aziraphale
La Muerte
Leo Valdez
Princess Tiana
Cats (2019)
Bubblegum and Marceline
Gary Goodspeed
Otto Wood
Ouran High School Host Club
Mothman
Tulio, Miguel, and Chel
Quentin Coldwater
Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey
Garfield
Fix-It Felix and Sergeant Tamora Calhoun
Barbara and Adam Maitland
Kit Snicket
Dan and Phil
Cole
Bill Nye
The Untitled Goose
Scooby Doo
@/vacuum-fluorescent-display
@/violetsnickets
@/broke-on-books
Eleanor Shellstrop
@/m-orgueous
@/aseriesofhyperfixation
@/vfdbaudelairefile13
Rosalina
Brennan Lee Mulligan
Spyro
Batman
Final Design of Live Action Sonic
Dio Brando
The Bad Kids
Erika and Princess Annelise
Hat Kid
Princess Diana
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Milo
Giovanni Potage
Hermes
Oliver and Lisa Douglas
Grogu
Din Djarin
Percy King
Miss Acacia
Wrench
Nico Di Angelo
Aizawa
Kobe Bryant
George Memeulous
@/thesciencebros
Ozma of Oz
@/beth-the-robot-enthusiast
Gerard and Lindsey Way
Merle Highchurch
Jerma985
Commander Up
Oliver and Felicity Queen
Steve and Alex
Dale Cooper
Miss Alma Le Fay Peregrine
Queen Barb of the Rock Trolls
Shadow the Hedgehog
Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas
Jonathan Joestar
Spinel
Mayor Damien
Fairy Mary
Gomez and Morticia Addams
Unus
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Blue the Dog
@/lostf3ralchild
The Parr Family/ The Incredibles
Five Hargreeves
The Imagination Movers
Coraline Jones
Charles and Jerome Squalor
Clarisse La Rue
The Fellowship of the Ring
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck
Alucard Tepes, Trevor Belmont and Sypha Belnades
Minnie Le Guin
Barry Bluejeans and Lup Taako
Cyrus and Evelyn Laurie
Red Guy and Duck
Felix Unger and Oscar Madison
Mr. Nicholas Benedict
L
Asgore
Satine
Ted Spankoffski
Toko Fukawa and Komaru Naegi
Samuel Vimes
Ph1lza
Rick O'Connell and Evie Carnahan
Leon Kennedy
Team Dark
Sasha Nein
Sam and Max
Drawfee Cast
Bruno Madrigal
The Amazing Karnak
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Hunter Being Omega’s Dad -> Bad Territory
#hunter is omega’s dad#hunter#sergeant hunter#tbb hunter#dee bradley baker#omega#tbb omega#Michelle ang#Star wars#Star wars gif#the bad batch#tbb#bad batch#tbb season 3#tbb gif#gifset#my gifs#clones#clone force 99#wrecker#tbb wrecker#fennec shand#Ming na wen#Phee Genoa#the marauder#Batcher#tbb Batcher#Crosshair#tbb Crosshair
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i could write it better than you ever felt it - FINAL
summary: fuck growing up. this is freedom, this is life, this is youth – 2007 Warped Tour style.
warnings: Language, vintage Something Corporate, oversugaring tea amidst Londoners
word count: 5.2k
A/N: this is it, fam! thanks for coming along in my time machine. I hope it’s everything you dreamed it would be. Shawn’s song is “As You Sleep” by Something Corporate, highly recommend a listen. thank you for everything you are and everything you give me. I love you guys.
Lucky 13.
The emblem of the 2007 Warped Tour has surrounded her all summer, but it feels especially present today somehow, on the last day of tour in Carson, California.
It seems a contradiction in terms, lucky 13, which Val supposes is probably the idea. She knows it’s a cheeky nod to the counterculture vibe that Warped Tour represents, but it also feels representative of her in some ways.
Val’s had a very contemplative and quiet three weeks since she gathered her things and walked out of that hotel room, leaving the scribbled note on the pillow behind her. She’s turned inward, no longer hounded by her conflict with Raf or Bea, able to focus on herself for the first time in a few months. And she’s picked out a few things that coincide with the theme of the summer.
Val is often reckless, and sometimes maternal. Val is book smart, and also street smart. Val embraces academia, but sometimes thinks she could drown herself in music and never read books again. Val is vibrant even when she is broken.
Humans are made up of contradictions, Val knows that as well as anyone. She is not suddenly realizing that she is not only one thing -- her dichotomies are not really news to her. But as she thinks about the people she loves most, she sees the way certain parts of their personalities bump up against other parts and fight for dominance, and she loves them more richly for it.
Humans are made up of contradictions and Val is embracing that from here on out. She arrived on the first day of Warped wearing a blink t-shirt with a textbook on Ming dynasty art in her trunk. All summer, she studied the ways she doesn’t fit in here in the scene anymore like she was looking for reasons to make a clean split and join her adult life across the pond. But the truth is, she failed. She looked for the ways that made her feel different from this world that she helped in her small way to build, but it’s as much a home to her as academia is and it will never truly feel foreign, no matter how many hours she spends crouched over a 9th century vase with a tiny brush. So her biggest contradiction, her inner strife over choosing academia over pop punk, it fades into her skin like her tattoo, as much a part of her as the dimple in her chin or the curls in her hair that she decided not to straighten today.
Val walks the grounds as the sun begins to fade. The last sets of the day are in progress or being set up. With earbuds in playing Boys Like Girls, she strolls between booths of merch people clinking beers and congratulating each other on a summer well done, between groups of kids comparing signed merch, between crew guys beginning to break down and pack away equipment to be pulled out next June for another go around.
She imagines who she’ll be next June.
She walks slowly on her way to Smartpunk. It seems her body is just as hesitant as her mind to attend this one last set, but she’s doing it anyway. She’s not sure why -- to prove a point to herself? To indulge in the talent one last time? To try to believe in a miracle?
She doesn’t like any of those options. She settles on curiosity and keeps her feet moving in uncharacteristically small steps.
She stands at the back, nice and far from any moshing action, by the All Time Low booth so she can sit on the edge of the table without getting grief from Vinny Vegas.
She wears a small smirk as the space around her fills in. It seems every Warped attendee is a Forefront convert now. She doesn’t blame them. But damn is it a far cry from their first sets in June.
They’re announced over the yelping cries of fans wearing out their last screams of summer. They hustle out in a group, with their tall, gawky frontman bringing up the rear as usual. He plants himself in front of the mic and swings one powerful arm above his head with a wild grin to wave as his adoring fans.
And it begins.
They put on a hell of a show. It’s not a given -- just because you’re good in the studio doesn’t mean you have the chemistry or energy to do well live. There are special bands that make a live concert a nearly religious experience -- her friends in Paramore and All Time Low among them. Forefront has gotten their sea legs this summer and won’t easily lose them now.
She takes the time to notice each member -- passionate, goofy Francis on rhythm guitar, hard-hitting, soft-spoken Seth on the drums, raucous pretty boy bassist Bobby. And then Shawn, switching between his keyboard and guitar effortlessly like he was born with a damn instrument in his hand, charisma leaking out of him all over the stage, making everyone in a fifteen mile radius certain that he’s born to do this.
She closes her eyes through the end of “Open End” and waits for “Swim” to start. When Shawn switches back to the keys at this point in the set, he usually engages in some chit chat with the boys or yammers on to the fans about how much they inspire him or whatever. But he’s quiet and the air around the stage is tense because everyone knows something’s up.
Val opens her eyes. He’s where she expected him to be, propped at the edge of his bench with his fingers resting over the keys, looking down at them frozen.
“We’re gonna play you a new one today.”
Val’s stomach falls out and flops into the dirt at her feet. She’s glad she’s sitting on the table because she can’t feel her legs. She overwhelmed by certainty that whatever’s about to happen, it’s going to be personal. And it’s going to hurt like hell.
Shawn is quiet for a few more electrically charged moments before he closes his eyes, rolls his shoulders forward and leans into the mic, singing before the instruments join him.
“Close your eyes and I will be swimming, lullabies fill your room, and I will be singing, singing only to you. Don’t forget I’ll hold your head, watch the night sky fading red.”
His fingers work furiously against the keys. The piano line is so intricate and shows off his talent for the instrument in a way she’s never seen. He keeps his eyes down at his hands as they dance, distracting him enough from the content of the lyrics so he can get through them without breaking down like he did when he wrote it.
“But as you sleep, and no one is listening, I will lift you off your feet, I'll keep you from sinking. Don't you wake up yet, cause soon I'll be leaving you. Soon I'll be leaving you, but you won't be leaving me.”
Val closes her eyes again and lets herself fall back into their last night, into their frantic lovemaking punctuated by irresponsible, unkeepable promises. She thinks about the weight of his legs between hers as she drifted off with him in the last full night sleep she got on tour. She remembers the way she let her hand rest on his side of the bed to try to tell when he left by how cool to the touch it felt.
“In the car, the radio leaves me searching for your star, a constellation of frustration driving home, singing my thoughts back to me, and watching heartache on TV.”
It feels so good to get this out, Shawn thinks as he hits each note just the way he wants it. This song came spilling out after their last night together in a way that felt too easy. After all that he put her through, he doesn’t deserve to have his art come easy. But art is never fair.
“But as you sleep, and no one is listening, I will lift you off your feet, I'll keep you from sinking. Don't you wake up yet, cause soon I'll be leaving you. Soon I'll be leaving you, but you won't be leaving me.”
By the second chorus, Val knows the words. It’s hard not to zero in when you know they’re about you. She notes the way the crowd reacts, arms in the air waving at him like he’s Jimi Hendrix, cheering along, eating up everything he gives them.
Good, she thinks, he deserves it.
The lead into the bridge is still piano heavy, but his fingers know the strokes of the keys as well as his heart does, so he gets to sit up and look around, grinning as their fans cheer, watching the sky explode vibrant summer watercolors over the trees on the horizon. A thick, soothing breeze passes through.
He looks back through to where he saw her a few songs ago. He lets his gaze stay there long enough that she knows now that she’s been spotted. He licks his lips and leans into the mic, but keeps his eyes up at her, perched on the ATL merch table like she owns it.
He repeats the lyrics even though each word feels like tearing at scabs that won’t be healing for a while. He pours it all in, everything he has left, every piece of I’m sorry, every hint of thank you, every whisper of I love you, it soars out over the heads of the fans who love the words but don’t know the boy that wrote them.
They’re for her.
As the final note fades out under sweeping cries of gratitude from the scene kids that came to celebrate their home and community, Val stands, brushes the dust from her skinny jeans and secures her earbuds back in place. With a final nodding smile to Vinny, she turns from the stage and walks off in gigantic, loping steps to read about John Singer Sergeant and listen to Dookie on repeat.
+++++++
December 18th, 2017
Shawn doesn’t often fit most musician stereotypes -- he doesn’t drink too heavily, he doesn’t do any drug harder than weed, he’s kind of a serial monogamist.
But he does love a moody walk along a body of water.
With a pair of good headphones, a carefully curated playlist and a path along the water, Shawn can figure out anything. When he gets stuck on a song, he goes to the water. When he’s in a weird spot with someone he’s dating, he goes to the water. He doesn’t like to get too spiritual about it, but it does feel somehow clarifying.
So one afternoon in London when the sun is out and the Londoners are out with it, Shawn decides to join them. He’s there on business promoting the latest Forefront album with a Live Lounge performance on BBC Radio 1 with Nick Grimshaw. He’s jetlagged and a little turned around by the Underground system like he usually is when in London but he’s otherwise feeling just fine. He just needs a walk by the water today. He tries not to look too closely at why.
He bundles up in the Barbour jacket his mum got him last Christmas and sets off down the stairs into the opulent Savoy hotel lobby decked out with a Christmas tree in every corner and fresh garland wrapped around every non-moving object in sight. He smiles at it -- nobody does Christmas like the Brits. He’s looking forward to going home in a few days to see his mum and the rest of his family and decompress for a few weeks before heading back over to the UK to write and record their next album.
He gets reflective like this -- the combination of the water and the music offer him perspective he can’t usually reach otherwise. He tucks his hands in his pockets and sets off through the garden that opens up into the Victoria Embankment Gardens, usually lush and green in the spring and summer, full of life and people. He likes it like this, though, cold and quiet and almost like a little secret.
2017 has been good to him. Forefront played seven new countries this year on their world tour in celebration of their sixth studio album. He’s gotten a little better over the years about being more present in those moments rather than looking forward anxiously to the next album and the expectations that surround it. That attitude really spoiled the last few records, but the new friends he’s made in the industry have helped guide him through that. He’s even becoming friends with the Irish guy from One Direction now, though they had very different paths to the music industry. He seems like a cool guy.
Personally, 2017 wasn’t really a banner year. He broke up with Jess in April after almost a full year. He’s had a few of those lately -- relationships that start hot and don’t make it past a year mark. He should take a closer look at that and figure out why he can’t seem to stay in a relationship for longer than 11 months, but he’s too tired to think about it now. It’s been a long fuckin’ year.
It’s been a long ten years, actually, since Joy Ride. He thinks back to the show they played at home in Toronto over the summer to celebrate the big anniversary. They played the whole album start to finish, something they’ve never gotten to do. Being immersed in it like that brings back a lot of memories of that summer when everything really kicked off. Not all those memories are ones Shawn likes to think about.
He doesn’t think about Valentina much. It’s by design. He doesn’t even play “As You Sleep” as often as it’s requested. It just… doesn’t feel healthy for him. He’ll pull it out every once in a while when curiosity gets the best of him, when it’s been long enough that he forgets how sharply he still feels every word of that song. He usually regrets it.
He lets himself wonder about her sometimes, like today when he’s knee deep in nostalgia anyway. He still sees Raf and the other Streets guys. They went on a hiatus for a while around 2013 but are back again recording a new record somewhere in Malibu, from what Shawn’s heard. When he sees them, he doesn’t ask about her. He doesn’t want her knowing he’s asking. And he thinks sometimes he doesn’t want to know what she’s really up to, he’d rather imagine.
He falls into his favorite daydream. He likes to think she stayed in the UK (he always felt like that was the place for her to end up). Maybe she got a job in conservation at Oxford or Cambridge or some other hoity-toity university. Maybe she met a nice, polite, skinny, bookish English guy who looks at her like a miracle every time she speaks to him. Maybe they had a small wedding at his local church and his family loves her because she’s colorful and articulate. Maybe they have dogs -- sheepdogs or setters or something, good country dogs. And maybe they’ve had a little girl.
That’s where he usually shuts the daydream down. For obvious reasons.
But when he doesn’t, he thinks about her and who she might be. He thinks about thick, lush curls flopped over a tiny forehead. He thinks about pouty little lips and a chin dimple that matches her mother’s. He thinks about little feet that kick hard because she’d have to be strong, of course.
Now that he’s letting himself think about it, he thinks maybe she’d look kinda like the kid that’s staring at him, reaching out from her pram that’s parked next to the bench he’s strolling past. He smiles at her and she beams back with a grin that has only two teeth. It makes Shawn laugh.
He glances over at her lucky mum or dad.
And it’s almost like he expected it, like it had to be her. I mean, this kid really couldn’t have been anyone but Val’s. She’s just… so Val.
So when Shawn looks her over, from her sweeping dark curls and her leather trousers and her ankle boots, he’s barely even surprised to see her. He just tips his head back and chuckles at the universe.
“Hey mister,” she calls, and her voice sets his skin rough with goosebumps, “Can I have your autograph?”
Shawn lets go of where he’s holding on to the wrought iron fence above the banks of the Thames and walks over, his chelsea boots scratching at the frosty stone.
She doesn’t stand to greet him. She’s got a similar look on her face, bemused acknowledgement of fate and its tricks, like she was thinking about him too and they both somehow willed this to happen. Her long slender legs are crossed. She has one black leather-gloved hand in the pram in the grasp of her little girl who’s chewing on her finger and no longer paying Shawn any attention.
“Hey, Vally,” he sighs. He doesn’t mean to call her that, it just happens. She doesn’t visibly react beyond a slightly deeper dimple in her cheek, so he figures he scraped by with that one.
“Were you on your way somewhere?” she asks, glancing back as if she realized she might be taking him away from something.
He shakes his head. “No, I just-- I’m staying at the Savoy and I like these gardens. I just wanted a walk.” He has enough presence of mind to pause his music. He doesn’t bother to mention it’s an old Streets song. That she wrote.
“We like it out here. We live over by the Farringdon stop but we take the train out here because we like the waterfowl.”
Val looks down at the pram as she speaks. Shawn takes that as an invitation to acknowledge her more formally.
“Who’s this?” he asks breathlessly.
“This is Alice,” Val replies with as much pride as he’s ever heard from any mother, “Alice Fernanda Moreno, she’s nine months old and very hefty for her age because we run a body positive household and she loves mashed carrot and swede.”
Shawn lifts a hand and waves in that open-close way he does like he’s a big toddler himself. Alice kicks hard and squeals at him.
“She’s… so beautiful,” he marvels. Val’s smug smile tells him she agrees. Shawn doesn’t share his next thought because it feels like a line and he doesn’t want to go there.
Because she looks exactly like you.
“I picked out a real pretty one,” she jokes, tightening the wrap of the thick wool blankets around Alice as she yawns.
Shawn continues staring at her openly, trying to pick out features that could belong to any potential father, but as far as he can tell, Alice is simply a clone of Val. It’s Val’s throat clearing that brings him back.
“Sit, Mendes,” she suggests, patting the warped wooden bench. Shawn lowers himself on the other side of the pram as Val rocks it back and forth with her foot.
“She’s been fussy today, but it’s naptime. She has to give in eventually,” Val mutters like she’s reasoning with herself. Shawn grins.
“You have a daughter.”
Val doesn’t look up from the pram as she rocks it. She just nods and snuggles into her prim peacoat.
“I have a daughter.”
Shawn can’t bring himself to ask. She’s wearing gloves so he can’t see if she’s wearing a ring. He stays quiet and studies her instead.
She looks largely the same, barely even older than she did at 22. Her sense of style is maybe the only thing he can see that’s changed in the ten years since he’s seen her last. There’s something comforting in that.
He wonders if he seems different. He works out more now, eats right. He’s definitely put on a whole lot of muscle since he was scrounging for burger scraps on Warped. He’s gotten a few more tattoos she can’t see. He also has an actual stylist now, which is sometimes weird, but he’s elevated the black skinnies, Vans and band tees to black skinnies, $800 boots and silk button-ups. So there’s that.
He’s still got that lip ring though.
But… he wonders if he seems different. If he carries himself differently. If he comes off more confident, more calm, less wide-eyed and wondering.
Because she seems the same. She’s always glowed from the inside out like this. Maybe the glow feels a little stronger now. Or maybe it’s just because she glows through herself and her baby girl all at once. Shawn sits back and watches them -- he could bathe in it all day.
“You know it’s been ten years?” she breathes.
Shawn nods slowly. “I know. Kinda feels like 40.”
She laughs and a piece of him astral projects back to nights tangled up in her bunk kissing her neck and trying to keep her quiet so her brother won’t come mock them from outside the bunk curtain.
“It does,” she muses, “But sometimes it feels like fifteen minutes ago, too.”
Shawn tips his head back and sniffs, looking up through a tall pine as its needles shiver.
“Has your decade been good to you?” she murmurs. He lifts his head back up. She’s staring down at the baby.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s been great. We’ve toured a lot, done a few more albums. The guys and I, I mean, you know us, we’d push each other in front of a bus most days, but we’re brothers and maybe obsessed with each other, too. We’re on a great ride.”
Val lifts her eyes to his briefly, all too knowingly, and lowers them back to the pram. “That’s good.”
Shawn shakes his head. “That’s not even at all what you meant, was it?”
“Nope.”
Shawn goes quiet, contemplative. Val waits him out until he’s ready.
“It’s harder than I thought it would be,” he chokes finally, “Everything about it. Writing after Joy Ride, it was… it got bad. I mean, I was ok, like fundamentally, but I didn’t feel good. We had so many eyes on us. We had no idea what to do, just like no one else does. Some tours were great, some were bad. And the whole deal makes everything else harder. It’s hard on my family, my friends. I… I haven’t been in an actual good relationship in… five years, at least. This year was better. We’ve gotten our feet back under us. I let it all out in the last album, and that helped.”
“I know, I heard it.”
Shawn looks up from Val’s hands in the pram. For the first time all morning, he’s really, truly shocked to the bone.
“You did?”
Val doesn’t answer him exactly, just mutters something about needing to get the baby inside and announces they’ll head down the lane for a cup of tea. She leads them to a little corner coffee shop made for hipsters, not for women with very expensive prams, but Val doesn’t seem to care and parks in the corner by the fire. She layers down, stripping off her scarf and coat to a black turtleneck. Her cheeks go warm as she settles in and orders for them.
Shawn keeps his mouth shut and tries not to do the mental math of how many of the songs he’s released in the last ten years have been written about her, and exactly how many of them she might have noticed are definitely, totally written about her.
She folds her manicured hands together and looks up at him. His brain mercifully shuts off.
“It took a while after that summer for me to get there, but about three years later, I was around Oxford with some friends and I saw your latest album, on vinyl no less, in some indie record store. I suddenly got this feeling that I had to stop my whole life for a minute and go in and buy it. I bought it and the one that came before it, I said goodbye to my friends and I shut myself up in my flat for a couple days with a bottle of whiskey and just… let it happen.”
Shawn winces. “Wish you’d have just skipped over Making Midnight.”
Val smirks. “I wish I had, too.”
Shawn scoffs and leans back in his chair, mock offended. Val giggles and dumps an ungodly amount of sugar in her Earl Grey.
“I was glad to just hear your voice again, actually. I’d done a good job of avoiding it. Too good, maybe, because it was a real shock to the system when I heard it again.”
Shawn knows how that feels. He went through a Val cleanse too, a much shorter one because he doesn’t have her willpower. And then he heard a song she wrote with Alex Gaskarth for All Time Low’s Dirty Work and he let her back in.
“From then, I just bought your records when they came out. I really loved this last one. It really… I dunno, it just really felt like you, I guess.”
Shawn keeps his head down as he stares at his tea. He hears Alice coo. He looks up to see Val lifting her out of her pram to bounce her in her lap, baby in one arm, cup of tea in the other.
“God, it’s so fuckin’ good to see you,” he croaks, shaking his head a little, “Especially…”
He trails off, unwilling to finish. He ducks his head again.
“Especially with a kid I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to have?” Val guesses.
Shawn glances up and nods.
“Do you want to hear about this?” Val murmurs, ignoring Alice as she yanks at some silky curls.
Shawn chews on his lower lip. “Yeah, I think I do.”
It’s Val’s turn to look down. She stirs the mountain of slowly dissolving sugar at the bottom of her mug and sighs.
“She’s just mine. Last year I started to get a little anxious about my biological clock, especially given the last time I got pregnant. I saw a fertility specialist and we discussed my history and she agreed if I want to have children, it’s probably better to start now. So I went in for IVF. On the second cycle, I got pregnant with Alice. The pregnancy was complicated, but my doctor was a saint and did everything absolutely right. The birth went perfectly. So now it’s me and Alice against the world.”
Shawn slides his tongue against his lower lip, taps his foot impatiently against the leg of his chair. “Just you two?”
“Just us two,” Val replies easily, “There were a couple guys in and out before her, but I haven’t gone out with anyone since I got pregnant. I didn’t feel the need. I just wanted to focus on her. I’m glad I did.”
They’re quiet for a few minutes, reflective. Then Val stands and looks down at him.
“Would you mind holding her for a minute? I need to use the loo.”
Shawn bites his lip and nods, standing to complete the transfer. Alice is asleep in her mother’s arms, but, as Val explains with a chuckle, “she’s a snuggle whore -- she’ll go with anybody for a little cuddle.”
Shawn sits. Alice curls up against his chest and pops her tiny lips in her sleep. She radiates warmth from her little swaddled bundle. As he stares down at her, Shawn fundamentally understands why Val hasn’t needed anyone else in her life since Alice arrived. He thinks if Val let him, he’d never put her down.
Alice stretches a tiny arm out in her sleep and punches Shawn in the chest. He snickers, jostling his little bundle, but it doesn’t wake her. He starts to get comfortable, sliding down in the chair a bit so he can rock her, but Val’s hand on his shoulder startles him.
“It’s ok,” she says, “Keep her, if she’s not fussing. I’d rather she stay asleep.”
Shawn nods eagerly and strokes Alice’s back with his long, rough fingers. Val sits across the table with her elbows propped up like she’s physically restraining herself to keep from snatching her child out of his arms. It makes Shawn grin.
“You ok over there?”
Val blushes, caught. “It’s usually just the two of us. I don’t ever have to share her. I’m not used to jonesing.”
“I’ll give her back if you want,” Shawn mumbles reluctantly. Val giggles.
“No, it’s ok. She looks happy.”
Shawn hums. She does look happy.
“So are you working?” he asks quietly, not wanting to wake Alice.
Val nods. “We are, we work at the V&A in the medieval department. We just started back about a month ago after my maternity leave. The museum’s been very generous. They let me walk around with her strapped to my chest all day. She helps consult on various matters, charms my coworkers into letting me leave bottles of breastmilk in every fridge in the museum. I shifted from conservation to curation a few years ago, which is a steadier, more lucrative track. I think it’ll be better for us.”
Us. We’re working at the V&A. We started back at the museum. Shawn’s enamored. He goes pink and brushes through the curls on the back of Alice’s neck.
“Sounds like you’ve got a great partner here,” he quips.
Val is quiet for a minute. “We’re very happy together. But we get a little lonely sometimes. Like when it’s cold and mummy really doesn’t want to get out of bed but Alice is screaming bloody murder. Those are the only moments when this isn’t the greatest thing in the whole world.”
Shawn looks up. Val is watching him carefully. Before he can speak, she swallows and lowers her gaze.
“But we get along, you know. We’re ok.”
“Yeah,” Shawn says, “I know you are.”
They chat. They talk about Raf and his wife Rachel and their little ones -- Val and Alice will be heading across the pond to spend Christmas with them and her parents. They talk about Bea and how she’s spent five years with the same guy up in Edinburgh and she seems actually happy. They talk about their near miss at Alex’s wedding last April -- she came for the ceremony but had to skip out of the reception, Shawn the opposite. They chat through several more cups of tea, an array of pastries, and another nap cycle until it’s dark and quiet outside. Val stares mournfully out the window as she puts on her jacket with Alice back in her pram, gurgling quietly.
Shawn is silent, brow furrowed. He pays the tab with a ghost of a smile and thinks about walking back to his hotel to sit in his room with the TV to try to drown out this day. It’s… unappealing to say the least.
They walk to the door. Shawn holds it open for Val and Alice and considers that they probably look to anyone else like a young family that spent the day together and are headed home to a warm dinner and a cozy night in.
Val’s heart pounds in her ears faster than their boots’ steps on the crunchy ground. She wants to swallow the words, but she doesn’t think she can. Not with him.
“Would you like to walk us home?” she breathes.
Shawn’s smile is extraordinary. He looks up from Alice’s curious brown eyes.
“Yes, please.”
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原生之罪 | original sin ep. 6
(missed an ep? here’s the masterpost!)
— in which the plot thickens, and chi zhen fails to bond with lu li. this episode has some heartwarming (or not) scenes, and one of my favorites. if you don’t come out of it loving chi zhen just a little bit more, idk what to tell you. also, i start school in two days and i am Afraid
i hope you guys enjoy (and please come scream abt OS with me!) — some translation notes, as usual, under the cut!
some clarifications on titles, first. you might have noticed that dong lingqi’s (the police boss dude) title has shifted occasionally to “director” as opposed to “commissioner:” this is mostly because it’s what’s written on his door in a later episode. suffice it to say, he’s the police department’s de facto boss, after zhang’s death.
also, i refer to lu li as “sergeant,” but what they really call him is “team/unit leader.” he’s in charge of the criminal investigations department, just as lao gao / old gao (the guy he always torments about not touching evidence) is the head of the evidence unit/crime lab. old shi is the forensic pathologist / medical examiner / autopsy dude.
at 10:30, director dong tells him not to “forget his ID.” ID is the same word as identity/status/place, etc, so it’s also kind of him telling him not to forget his place (as his inferior / under his control)
21:15 - supervisor tan calls for chen mingyang, calling him “xiao ming,” or “little ming.” i really am not a huge fan of the xiao -> little thing in english, because calling someone little [x] seems vaguely demeaning/infantilizing/creepy, so i kept it as xiao.
21:40 - lu li does the chinese equivalent of spelling someone’s name out, saying “Chen (陈) written with阝and 东, Ming (明) as in "tomorrow" (明天), Yang (扬) as in "set sail" (扬帆).” [character] as in [phrase where character is used] thing, or a [character] as in [character with x radical] — both are very common when describing your/someone’s name to someone else in chinese, like saying “kathy with a k,” etc, since chinese doesn’t really draw from a “set” pool of names, as much as english names often do.
chi zhen buying lu li a toy for his kid is one of my favorite things, as much as lu li carrying around a framed picture of yinuo. they are both so soft. so good. so angsty.
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Ocean Demons – Inspector Spacetime
They encountered the Third Inspector and Yosif when they threatened P. T. Barnum's exhibition of one of their kind as "The Feejee Mermaid" in the eponymous Season 9 serial, with assistance from the Sergeant.
They came back for the new series in the 2021 spring special, "Myth of the Ocean Demons", in which the piratical aquatic aliens attack 15th-century Chinese Admiral Zheng He's treasure fleets on their voyage of discovery to the Americas. Although The Thirteenth Inspector is able to rout them, she must cover up the evidence of extraterrestrial involvement, and the Ming treasure voyages‘ global discoveries fade
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In 2065, Earth is infested by alien life forms known as Phantoms. By physical contact Phantoms consume the Gaia spirit of living beings, killing them instantly, although minor contact may only result in an infection. The surviving humans live in "barrier cities" protected by energy shields that prevent Phantoms from entering, and are engaged in an ongoing struggle to free the planet. After being infected by a Phantom during one of her experiments, scientist Dr. Aki Ross (Ming-Na Wen) and her mentor, Dr. Sid (Donald Sutherland) discover a means of defeating the Phantoms by gathering eight spirits, unique energy patterns contained by various lifeforms. When joined, the resulting energy wave can negate the Phantoms. Aki searches for the sixth spirit in the ruins of New York City when she is cornered by Phantoms but rescued by Captain Gray Edwards (Alec Baldwin) and his squad Deep Eyes, consisting of Master Sergeant Ryan Whittaker (Ving Rhames), Neil Fleming (Steve Buscemi)
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